Homeland Security

I thought about leaving the title for this post as just Homeland.  It sounds so much cooler and very Spy-like.  But that's not what this is about, unfortunately.  It turns out, I'm being watched.  It says so right here

EricMay 7, 2014 at 5:07 PMThe Hennepin County District Attorney advises you to stop stalkng anyone. YOU ARE BEING WATCHED BY CENTRAL COMMAND AND HOMELAND SECURITY.

I can't believe it, you guys.  I'm practically famous.  Central Command (whatever that is) and Homeland freaking Security are watching me.  They've let me know through their most formal of methods: a blog comment.  They even used a lot of capitols to let me know they're serious.  Just like Jeanne does.

Hey now, wait a minute.  That's not how Homeland Security works?  Eric No-Last-Name isn't the authoritative mouthpiece for the Hennepin County DA, Cantral Command and Homeland Security?  Responding to some weird blog a few times a year doesn't make me interesting enough to warrant their attention?  That was just Jeanne?

I'm so disappointed.    

This Is NOT a Hate Site

I found that I got a mention over at Simcha Fisher's blog.  But she called this a hate site.  Not so, Simcha!

Jeanne has a cartoon hate for me.  The kind that makes her want to publish my address and threaten me with legal action.  But I've never really hated her.

I find her particular brand of crazy, incredibly fascinating.  Sometimes I forget about her for months at a time, and then when I check in on her, I can't believe I was ever able to look away.

For example, This Post (with the weirdly long title) says

"UPDATE:  THE  NC Register editors EDITORS BANNED ME.  AGAIN.   IF these northern people who do not live here are so so great, then why is their church empty?  Why are the churches in Florida full, thriving and growing? 

But here it is ANYHOW.  God,  I can’t stand these ultra conservative Catholic Bloggers and neither can Pope Francis.  I just  don’t have the heart to tell them that a relative of mine and someone that I know in my Diocese of St Petersburg knows him very well.  

Don’t piss me off about stupid things."

 Um, say what now?  She's been banned again from a reputable website.  Clearly, the problem is everyone else's, and couldn't possibly have anything to do with her delivery.  Nope.  And she know's the Pope y'all.  They're practically BFF's.  Because she knows a guy who knows a guy.  And the last Pope had dinner at her house, she once said.

I think that makes her in charge.  So, yeah, no pissing her off about stupid things.  Or smart things.  Or...any things.

Better leave her alone, or she'll tell the Pope on you.  Now, granted, not a problem for me, since he's not the boss of me, but, if he's the boss of you, well, then you'd better get on Jeanne's good side. Quick! Move to Florida, or buy a gator or, something.  I don't know.  Just don't have babies or be a good Catholic.  She doesn't like that.  And you don't want to make her angry.  You wouldn't like it when she's angry.

Seriously, she's amazing.  Someone help me look away again.

Guess Who's Back

Jeanne is blogging again.

I'm so excited!

Privacy Please

FMIFA has gone back to private.  It's invite only, which is always going to disappoint her loyal fans  (fans or people who can't help but want to watch the crazy).  It certainly is hard to comment, critique, or otherwise discuss a blog I can't read.  But it's got to be killing her that no one else can read it either.

After all, her blog is so special.  It's copyrighted and everything.  (insert eye roll here)

FMIFA, Great Entertainment

It really does seem like Jeanne is trying to be serious with her blog.  She posts songs and videos she likes, news stories, and readings from her church.  She seems genuine.

She also seems genuinely nutty, and that's why I just can't help but be entertained by her.  

One of the first rules of a message board, is that you don't feed the trolls.  But I was new to message boards when I "met" Jeanne.  At first I tried to correct her obvious misperceptions of people in our group.  But when she got aggressive with our members, I stepped up to defend them.  

I should have ignored her.  I probably still should.  But once I realized that she wasn't reasonable, I became totally fascinated.  Even now, I still can't help but watch the trainwreck. 

So I thought I'd list a few things that I've found entertaining over the last few days.

1. She's changed her background, once again, to something excrutiatingly painful to look at.  It's as if she's daring people to try to read her blog.
2. She has posted warnings to me about cyber-stalking laws.  And yet, she seems to be totally ignoring the fact that her threats of calling CPS on me as well as things like publishing my address, mean that she's more likely to be in violation of cyber-stalking laws than I am.
3. She has asserted that my reading her blog and responding to it on my own...is cyber-stalking.
4. She made a Find Me In Florida Again...The Other Side 2 blog, obviously to poke at me, but made it invite only, so no one can read it.  I get it.  Inside jokes are hilarious.  And you can't get more inside than only sharing it with yourself.  But it's hard for me to be insulted by something I can't see, nor can anyone else.  Epic trolling fail.
5. Her husband supposedly sent me a warning, but she somehow posted it under her own name.  
6. A while back when she was mad at me, I started to get password reset e-mails for my Google account.  I have absolutely no evidence of it, but at the time I was fully convinced that it was Jeanne, trying to get into my account and shut down this blog. This morning I found password reset emails for a message board that I belong to that she mentioned on her blog.  I think she's trying again to get into my account.  But, sure, I'm the cyber-stalker.  
7. She said that I'm allegedly a nurse and a mother.  I read that to my son and we laughed.  That's just alleged.  

As long as Jeanne keeps writing her entertaining blog, I expect I'll keep commenting on it.  And I'll be honest, it's kinda fun.   

Permission Denied

Find Me In Florida Again has gone private.

The world at large can no longer have full access to Jeanne's wisdom, her music, and constant reports regarding Tampa weather patterns.

I could almost hear the nine people who read it, start to cry.

She said she wouldn't be silenced.  She wouldn't stop posting.  She would not shut down her blog.

And good for her on all of that.

But it does beg the question, if you blog and no one can read it, are you really blogging?

Where's The Beef?

Sometimes, when I read Jeanne's blog posts, especially when she gets all fired up, it really seems like she's mad about something real.  She's mad about something important.

I'm always left scratching my head when it's me.

Jeanne says she has beef (read her full post here).  So, let me see if I can figure this one out, or explain it to those less versed in Jeanne-speak.

First of all, this hasn't been going on since 2005.  I think maybe she had a run-in with someone else on our message board before me, and over time we've melded into one in her memory.  I can't be sure, but I always find it interesting that I'm accused of starting to harass her before we'd even "met".

Second, Jeanne called me a plebe.  If it's "game on" as she said in one recent post, then she is off to a weak start.  She's basically calling me young and fresh.  How is that an insult?

Jeanne goes on:

Regarding any other right I have, I have the right not to be a religious robot and be afraid that my point of view is out here. I also have the right not to fear corporate America and any threat that I am allowed to say what I need to say when I would not be getting paid by them to shut up. Right now when I write this, it is after 5pm, when most people are off work. I wrote most people. It is America and I have the right not to be harrassed and imitated on this blog.

It must be confusing for people who are new to Jeanne.  They must wonder who these people are out there who are denying Jeanne these rights?  I wonder if she imagines a room of angry Catholic women, who are plotting to take them away from her.

The thing is, no one thinks that.  No one wants her to be a "religious robot" or "fear corporate America".  And it certainly stands to reason that she has the right to not be intimidated and harassed.  That said, she does not have the right to not be questioned, responded to, or criticized.  We all have free speech here.

Since Jeanne doesn't like me, she assumes certain things about me, whether or not they're true.  I like the Huffington Post and feel no need to answer them.  And I love Disney.  I used to work for them, long ago.  I grew up in California (which I think is infinitely better than Florida).  So, I see no need to answer them either.  But the interesting thing is, those kinds of blogs do exist.  And nothing is done about it.  Not a damn thing.  Because these corporate entities understand that people have the right to share their opinion.

Here is an example: DisneySucks.Com

Of course, I post that as if she's going to read it and understand.  But it never ends up working that way.

I love that Jeanne has had 35,000 hits in 10 years.  I love that she says that as if it means 35,000 people have come to her blog and supported her.  You just know those hits (which by the way, is only about 9 hits per day, so it's hardly a blogosphere must-read) are from people like me who've met her on the internet and are just fascinated.  I know I can't look away from that train-wreck of a blog.  Even if her graphics do make my eyes bleed.

Keep Calm and Carry On, Jeanne.  I'll do the same.  Right here.