Florida

Dear Jeanne,

I know being a Floridian is a huge part of your persona.  I don't totally get it, but I respect that it's part of your self identity.  But I feel that this is a good time to explain something to you: There are 49 other states.  No, really, and just as you've said that God loves the swamps, it has to be possible at least that He loves the 49 other states (that He created, remember) just as much.

I know this will come as a shock to you, but people love the other 49 states as well, and actually choose to live in them.  I am from Southern California, and thus, have had my fill of beaches and ocean.  I'm actually not a big fan of the humidity in Florida and prefer my native California to it.  I know that's hard to believe.  But in fact, a number of years ago when we moved our family due to my husband's job, we actually had the choice to move to Tampa, and chose Minnesota (with it's snow and all) over the Sunshine State.

I have no doubt that Florida has many wonderful qualities.  Truly.  But not everyone wants to move there.  And your insistence that we do, followed by your apparent threats that we'll hate it when we get there because we'll be outsiders, doesn't recommend it to us.

By all means, love your state.  But it would be lovely if you could entertain the idea that other people love theirs, too.

Respectfully,

The woman you hoped the Gators would eat when she got to Florida