Homeland Security

I thought about leaving the title for this post as just Homeland.  It sounds so much cooler and very Spy-like.  But that's not what this is about, unfortunately.  It turns out, I'm being watched.  It says so right here

EricMay 7, 2014 at 5:07 PMThe Hennepin County District Attorney advises you to stop stalkng anyone. YOU ARE BEING WATCHED BY CENTRAL COMMAND AND HOMELAND SECURITY.

I can't believe it, you guys.  I'm practically famous.  Central Command (whatever that is) and Homeland freaking Security are watching me.  They've let me know through their most formal of methods: a blog comment.  They even used a lot of capitols to let me know they're serious.  Just like Jeanne does.

Hey now, wait a minute.  That's not how Homeland Security works?  Eric No-Last-Name isn't the authoritative mouthpiece for the Hennepin County DA, Cantral Command and Homeland Security?  Responding to some weird blog a few times a year doesn't make me interesting enough to warrant their attention?  That was just Jeanne?

I'm so disappointed.    

This Is NOT a Hate Site

I found that I got a mention over at Simcha Fisher's blog.  But she called this a hate site.  Not so, Simcha!

Jeanne has a cartoon hate for me.  The kind that makes her want to publish my address and threaten me with legal action.  But I've never really hated her.

I find her particular brand of crazy, incredibly fascinating.  Sometimes I forget about her for months at a time, and then when I check in on her, I can't believe I was ever able to look away.

For example, This Post (with the weirdly long title) says

"UPDATE:  THE  NC Register editors EDITORS BANNED ME.  AGAIN.   IF these northern people who do not live here are so so great, then why is their church empty?  Why are the churches in Florida full, thriving and growing? 

But here it is ANYHOW.  God,  I can’t stand these ultra conservative Catholic Bloggers and neither can Pope Francis.  I just  don’t have the heart to tell them that a relative of mine and someone that I know in my Diocese of St Petersburg knows him very well.  

Don’t piss me off about stupid things."

 Um, say what now?  She's been banned again from a reputable website.  Clearly, the problem is everyone else's, and couldn't possibly have anything to do with her delivery.  Nope.  And she know's the Pope y'all.  They're practically BFF's.  Because she knows a guy who knows a guy.  And the last Pope had dinner at her house, she once said.

I think that makes her in charge.  So, yeah, no pissing her off about stupid things.  Or smart things.  Or...any things.

Better leave her alone, or she'll tell the Pope on you.  Now, granted, not a problem for me, since he's not the boss of me, but, if he's the boss of you, well, then you'd better get on Jeanne's good side. Quick! Move to Florida, or buy a gator or, something.  I don't know.  Just don't have babies or be a good Catholic.  She doesn't like that.  And you don't want to make her angry.  You wouldn't like it when she's angry.

Seriously, she's amazing.  Someone help me look away again.